When Valentine’s Day rolls around and love seems to be everywhere, store shelves fill with heart shaped chocolates, couples post their photos online, and romance movies replay on tv. During this time, it can feel like love is supposed to feel exciting, effortless, and magical at all times. Most of this expectation comes from the romance movies people watch which shape how people believe love should feel and function.
Romance movies usually show love as intense and dramatic. It’s filled with big and over the top gestures and emotional highs, which not only gives a false perception of love, but makes grand gestures seem like the bare minimum.
One of the most famous examples is “The Notebook”. The relationship between Noah and Allie is shown as passionate and emotional. It’s full of arguments that are immediately followed with expressing their love for each other. While the story is sweet and romantic, it gives people the idea that real love has to be dramatic for it to be meaningful. When in reality, the constant argument and going to the extreme when it comes to emotions, are not a sign of a healthy relationship, yet movies constantly use that as proof of “true love”.
Other popular romance movies such as: Titanic or La La Land, all contribute to these unrealistic expectations. These movies portray love as something that’s supposed to happen quickly. Characters fall in love in a matter of days, causing people to rush into relationships they may not be ready for. This all affects how people view and act within their own relationships, causing them to question whether or not their love is real enough.
What movies tend to leave out are the quiet moments that make a relationship real. Communication, compromise, and mutual effort are all important things needed for a real bond. When this is not shown in movies, it results in people feeling disappointed when their relationships do not match what they see on tv.
Rather than acting as guides for real relationships, romance movies exist to tell a story to capture attention and emotion. While they can be enjoyable, especially during Valentine’s Day, the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred.
True love does not follow a script or rely on dramatic moments to feel meaningful. It grows through understanding, consistency, and effort. These qualities may not always look cinematic, but they are more real and last longer than anything else seen on tv.
