Valentine’s Day is usually seen for its bright side. Couples often celebrate this special day with hugs, Flowers, Chocolate and of course all pink and red heart shaped things. Yet, there is a dark side to every holiday. In the case of Valentine’s day it is domestic abuse.
Recent data collected from domestic violence hotlines, and law enforcement show that incidents of domestic violence often spike during Valentine’s Day and the days around it.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime in the U.S, with hospital data confirming that of 21 million assault-related injury visits, 15% occurred over holiday periods. More than one in three women and one in four men have suffered physical violence, rape, or stalking, with over 20,000 daily calls made to domestic violence hotlines daily, figures that rise up to 22% acoss all significant U.S holiday dates.”
Emotions are heightened as there are certain expectations of gestures and gifts; with that comes financial stress, and even jealousy that may bring up old tension that is unhealthy in relationships.
Survivors of domestic violence described how they felt on holidays like Valentine’s Day showing the amount of intense pressure when in an abusive environment.
According to The Guardian, Rachel Williams, who is a survivor of domestic abuse, details the need to act normal when in a tense situation.
“You are trying to play the loving girlfriend, wife or fiancée to pacify the domestic terrorist you are living with… 365 days of the year, but it is that one day [Valentine’s Day], like with Christmas, where you have got that added pressure on you as a victim,” Williams said. Hotline counselors say this pressure can prevent victims from reaching out for more help.
Experts warn that abusers typically use holidays as a way to assert dominance. Missed expectations around gifts or attention can lead to increased conflict.
According to Dellino Law, “… it can be a day that exacerbates relationship issues, with 48% of women and 23% of men ‘dissapointed’ by Valentine’s Day, and 6% finding the occasion ‘stressful’.
Since abuse often occurs behind closed doors, these incidents may go unnoticed by friends, family members, and even the public. Social media posts and traditional themes of the holiday may cover the reality of violence happening in private.
Law enforcement agencies and domestic violence organizations including shelters encourage people to remain aware of what is happening around them during this time of year. Raising awareness is crucial to preventing violence. Recognizing small signs like injury, and changes in behavior can truly save a person’s life.
Always check up on your family and loved ones. Although a relationship may seem perfect in front of your face, who knows what is happening in your neighbors home.
