A guide to young love: Surviving breakups


Shyann Cordero, Art and Features Editor

I know, I know, none of you were expecting to see me here writing a story about falling out of love. After reading one of my first stories, “A Guide to Young Love: Healthy Relationships,” you would think that I would be writing about the rainbows and dreams of dating. However, all good things come to an end. Who better than me to help you all know how to see the signs and handle the heartbreak. 

It is easy to become oblivious to the signs of a dying relationship. We as humans tend to see what we want to see. When this happens we lose sight of the subtle changes in our partner and ourselves. If you find yourself wondering if things are changing, then take that as your first sign.

UACHS senior, Jordan Jerez, says that the oblivion did not forego him in his recent relationship. 

“When it happened, in my mind, I knew it was happening,” Jerez said. “But my heart wouldn’t accept it at the time.”

When people start wondering about the stability of a relationship, their subconscious has already started to see the differences in energy and happiness. 

The little things seem unimportant, but they are the most vital when it comes to seeing the signs. When texts become shorter and responses become later, you should be on high alert. Dying love is a ticking time bomb and the clock is activated when this starts happening. None of us here are bomb techs so unfortunately, it’s gonna blow. 

Jerez noticed the clock when his former partner stopped responding out of the blue.

“I didn’t understand why she stopped texting me because everything was going all good,” Jerez said. “I thought I did something wrong.”

Things start escalating as time goes on. There are periods of time when you do not talk all day or when the only time you talk is when you are arguing. Eventually, you are going to realize that it is over, and with the bomb the world as you know it will explode. However, it is up to you to make sure you do not die from the blast. 

Heartbreak is like a bad dream, during it you think it will never end; but the thing is it does end, and when it does you realize that the journey was worth the pain. 

The question is how to get to that mindset? When does realization kick in? What could possibly make losing the love of your life worth it? I do not have all the answers for you today, but I do know that letting go of the hope you had in the relationship allows for a better understanding of why it had to end. You need to lose the, “I can fix them” mindset because you cannot. Some people do not want to be fixed nor do they deserve to be fixed. 

Jerez said that this was one of the hardest parts of moving on for him.

“I feel like I had everything and now I don’t. I think I just want everything to go back to the way it was before,” Jerez said. 

You cannot force someone to be better for you. When someone’s mind is made up, or their ways are different from yours, you just have to allow yourself to be great without them. You are great without them, no matter how bad you feel you are still worth loving. You will find someone better or you will learn to love yourself in the way you know you deserve. Knowing that is the only thing that will allow you to fully move on and become the person you’re meant to be with or without them.