Almost everyone believes that teenage girls are the only ones who go through crushes, heartbreak, hormones, and bad days, but this could not be further from the truth. Teenage boys feel all of these things, but do not always feel they are able to express this.
Imagine, you’re a teenage boy who works, is a straight-A student, involved in school activities like sports and clubs, yet can never catch a break and have time to self reflect. Most males from a young age are pushed to be successful, strong, tough, and be the embodiment of being a man.
Depending on their culture, being a “man” means being the strongest, the head of the family, and being responsible all while being the quintessential “macho.” It is frowned upon for males to show their emotions and this can lead them to hide their feelings in fear of being seen as weak. With all of this weighing on their shoulders, many teenage boys aren’t allowed to express their emotions which eventually leads to a decline in their mental health.
Since the beginning of time, society has shaped our thoughts into thinking that masculinity in men should be portrayed as being tough, courageous, being physically and emotionally strong, and having determination. However, what is never highlighted is that men have feelings too and it is okay for them to express their true feelings.
According to Clevlandclinic.com, “Survey findings point to stress being a common factor among men. However, 65 percent of men said they are hesitant to seek professional help for mental health concerns such as stress, anxiety, and depression.” This shows that more than half of men back away from seeking help when dealing with mental health.
Males feel like they are slowly abandoning a part of themselves while trying to keep up this masculine facade. When males finally work up the nerve to open up to someone about their problems, they are often told to ‘man up’ and are not taken seriously. This can make them feel weak and vulnerable, leading to feeling like they need to hide their emotions. Due to how often males suppress their emotions, many of them think that expressing feelings and seeking help makes them weak, when it should be seen as an act of strength.
The National Institute of Health states, “Generally, it is thought that men are less willing to seek psychological help than women, possibly due to factors such as dominant male understanding and the media’s portrayal of men as strong.”
As valued and important as women’s mental health is, most men lack the ability to communicate about this. It makes it much more difficult for them to speak up and get the help that they need.
Junior, Nasir Robinson, discusses his viewpoint on men’s mental health and how seeking help is an individual decision.
“…everyone goes through different things and I feel like you only know yourself and the problem you’re going through,” said Robinson. “There’s no point talking about it to someone since that’s your problem.”
The idea of keeping your problems to yourself is what most men do because from a young age this is what they are taught.
Junior, Yasir Johnson, explains how feelings are hard to gauge and comfortability does not come easy.
“For me, men’s mental health is something I don’t hear about,” said Johnson. “You never really know how someone feels because even I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems like that; I feel like a burden when I do.”
Reframing society’s ideals about masculinity and how to approach mental health is important. Making it easier for males to be comfortable with their feelings can lead to more well rounded individuals and will ultimately make the world a better place.
Sharing feelings and being emotional should be normalized for males. The last thing any of us wants is to make our friends regardless of gender feel like their feelings do not matter.
